fma randomness
by BUTTERY JIZZ CAKES
Summary: its hard to explain but I'll try, my character is a bit challenged with computers and a klutz and, well you get the point. anyways because of her computer she some how gers stuck in the fma world and well lets just put it this way it gets interesting XD
1. wait what! your kidding me! omfg!

SO Like Hi PEOPEL! yeah most of the random things in the first chapter like my computer being a bitch, me playing solitaire and listening to techno music actually happened so yeah i didn't make up the first part of the story =3= im just to awesome to do that XD jk im just a very strange girl and even stranger things happen to me, im being serious about strange things happening to me, if you don't belive me just ask my best friends sierra or lyndsey. for some reason i always seem to be in the right place at the right time ^-^' and im not sure but should i include my friends in this story? i think they would make it a lot more interesting so yeah... i might ._. w sorry but i cant help but put all the little random faces in the story XD oh and i may make references to shows like sailor moon and power puff girls so yeah but the story is meant to be funny so it works! XD and one more thing my friend reminded me that i need a disclaimer so yeah here it is

I DON'T OWN ANYTHING! : sad face XD no but seriously i don't own anything so yeah... i don't know what else to say here except for read the damn story or i will have sierra go all Rena on your asses so there.

FMA Randomness

Chapter 1

"OK why the hell is this not working?" i asked myself out loud."why is my computer being a bitch today?" the one day when i actually need to check something online i cant! my computer keeps restarting and coming up with an error screen, and i cant really do anything about it! "GAWD! WHY THE FUCK IT IT DOING THIS?"(AN: GAWD is not a typo, me and my friends say it like that and spell it like that.) i started banging my head against my bed. sometimes i hate computers. i finally gave up on getting on you tube and just started to play spider solitaire and listen to techno music, wow my life is really boring.

i cant even call my friends, sierra is at ruth's house, jouinor's brother broke her cell phone, kitty's phone is out of minutes,ally moved, ducky's phone dosent work, and i don't have sissy's phone number. there's no way im going to call scyco Sam, hell that freak stalked me for like 3 years! With the Internet being a bitch i cant even talk to my friends on face book right now. shit now im going to be all emu (AN: Emu is not typo thats how me and my friends spell it and we say it like that to,so yeah...)

"honestly i can't wait for school to start back! GAWD! why is every thing so boring?" sometimes i wish i lived somewhere else or could be at school most of the day, but now im not even going to go back to the school that i have come to know and love i have to start high school. i was finally at the top of the school and now im back down at the bottom again. =_= the seniors are going to give us hell this year and there's the whole thing of me not knowing where anything is so yeah...

Just another day wasted because the Internet won't work and my laptop is being a bitch, i guess there's not much more to do than read 13 of fullmetal alchemist.

I wish i could meet envy or hell I'd even settle for greed or gluttony,but i think gluttony would rather eat me than be my friend ^-^; but if i ever did meet envy i would probably have a fangirlism (AN: a fangirlism is a fan girl spazz attack and an orgasm all in one.) then i would pass out. if i ever meet greed i would just glomp him ^-^; of corse he would probably get really pissed if i did but oh well ^^

Once i finished reading the manga i went back to playing solitaire and listening to techno music. For once my computer was working right or so it seemed, -_-; all of a sudden my computer just went to that damn blue error screen, GAWD DAMNIT! Why the fuck dose it keep doing this! .

"well you don't seem happy." damn my computer is talking again!

"damn it i thought i fixed this problem when i took out lime wire -_-'" ( but seriously my computer did have problems because of lime wire, and it actually did talk but it was adds not just some random voice so yeah, i actually have a talking computer w)

"um... what is lime wire?... wait that dosen't matter right now."

"GAWD DAMNIT! my computer is a pig fucker -_-" what i don't get is why its still talking i took out the battery and unplugged it but it still has a blank blue screen 0.o

"aren't you wondering why im here? or whats going on?"

"honestly no not really i just want to get back to sucking at solitaire and listening to techno music"

"OK how about i do this." my computer screen flashes white and next thing i know im at the gate thinking what the fuck just happened?

"NOW WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME?"

"well i don't really have a choice now do i?"

"i would appreciate it if you would stop being a smart ass" wow i didn't think the little dude that just sits there at the gate could get pissed off but apparently i have pushed his buttons a little too much today ^-^;

"yeah sorry thats a bad habit of mine"

"if you had to choose would you be an alchemist or a homunculi?" the creepy person asked me with a wicked smile. damn it, i don't want to be immortal but being a homunculi would be really cool, on the other hand being an alchemist would be awesome.

" I guess i would want to be a homunculi." if i do get to be one then i could finaly glomp greed and wrath w ( the little creepy 7 year old kid not the old guy -_- thats one reason i dont like brotherhood, king bradley being wrath is so not cool . so yeah this takes place in FMA not FMAB)

"good"was all the creepy guy at the gate said before the gate opened and pulled me in 0.0

SO YEAH thats chapter 1 of... well for right now im going to call it fma randomness ^^ because this is very random even if its not in this chapter it will get even more random later XD so there. if anyone can come up with a better name for this story please do and let me know w merp!

AND REMEMBER READ AND REVIEW!

on amd one more thing, not to seem like im advertising, please check out the S&J Foundation on you tube, my name is EnvysGirlJamie so yeah. go and watch it! the S&J Foundation is epic!


	2. why so many questions?

so yeah here is chapter 2 of fma randomness

once again there are things in this chapter that are actually very close to thing that have happened to me recently lol so enjoy chapter 2 of fma randomness :P

FMA Randomness

Chapter 2

"OK seriously what the fuck just happened?"god my life is just strange at times w as i stood up i looked around and noticed i was in a dark place...maybe its nite, either that or im underground. the place looked kind of weird, like it had a bunch of wires and god only knows what else. o.o i don't know maybe its just that all the lights are turned off right now^-^

"child, how did you get in here?"

"honestly i wish i knew" -_-; i was being honest when i said it so there XD i seriously almost laughed when i said it.

"how do you not know? or are you just lying to me?"

"even if i did know i have a feeling it would be hard to explain"

"and why is that?"

"wow for some one who is supposed to be really smart you sure ask a lot of questions -_-"sometime i can be a bit of a smart ass XD (but thats why everyone loves me w jk)

"fine don't answer my question, but you do have to answer this one, what is your name?"

"jamie,jay,james,panda,envii,chika,boogie and my personal favorite the nom nom llama. i honestly answer to just about anything." ha ha success i finally confused him! XD (most people find it very odd that i answer to james XD but i do) the man gave me a very puzzled look. yeah i defiantly threw him off XD

"why do you answer to so many names?" of corse another question! DX

"honestly its because people never remember my name. even though its not a very long name people still never remember it" -_-( seriously they never remember my name)i reached up and scratched my head then flopped down on to the floor, i sat there with my hands on my chin until i noticed something red on the inside of my right palm. holy shit i am actually a homunculus :D i pulled my hand away to make sure it was what i thought it was, sure enough it was the tattoo W inside i was having a major fangirlism! i cant belive it 3 finally! (mwhahaahahahaahha naow

i'z can go glomp envy :D) After like 5 minutes of spazing i finally chilled out enough for him to just stare at me with another puzzled look "ok what is it now?" i asked him "hey wait whats your name? its only fair that you tell me your name now after i've told you mine."

"im just called father." wow what a great name! i thought to myself sarcasticly, jeez all those questions he asked me, and when i ask one i get a really lame answer D:

"well i guess i'll leave now if someone would show me the way out." he shook his head.

"no your not allowed to leave yet, i still need to know more about you before i can actually let you leave." he said as he was looking at me with a curious but yet blank look.

I sat there for a while longer just playing with the safety pins holding my 4 year old converse until one came undone and stabbed my finger :L "damn" i said as it started to bleed TT^TT the blood kept flowing until a good sized drop fell to the floor (and of cores with me having A.D.D i stared at somthing else til i felt it start rolling down my damn finger lol) by the time i stopped staring at the drop on the floor and looked back to my finger the stab wound had healed 0.o (still hurts though lol that actually did happen, i was fixing a safety pin on my shoe and pricked my finger and just stared at it for like 5 minutes XD because im retarded) apparently i wasn't the only one who noticed. "father" stared at me with wide eyes i guess he also noticed my pretty tattoo lol XD

"Child what is that on your hand?" he asked by his tone he sounded like he already knew :L

"well guess oh smart one" i said with way more sarcasm than i meant. :L

"that looks like an ouroborus tattoo. How or where did you get that?" he said with a bit of a pissed off tone now o.0 (uh oh XC)

"well...ummm... like i said with how i got here its complicated and just over all annoying to explain you know its about as annoying as my fucking nail breaking because now ii have 1 retarded nail while the rest are pretty and long" :L about that time a person/thing walked in.

"who is this father?"

DUN DUN DAH! MWAHYAHAHAHAHAH! YOU DONT GET TO FIND OUT TIL NEXT CHAPTER :D BECAUSE IM JUST THAT EVIL...but then again i have only had 7 views for this story and 1 comment so i guess no one will really care if i leave this chapter off and a cliff hanger. if your wondering why i waited so long to update its because i had school work... XD well who am i kidding i didn't do it XDD but right now i actually have pretty much nothing to do and i just felt like finishing the chapter :D so yeah... btw if you havent heard breaking benjamin's song give me a sign you should go listen to it, its a really good song well at least i think it is but then again i thing everything by breaking benjamin is great lol and yeah the thing about the convers that are held together by safety pins is true i have had them since i was in 6th grade im almost half way through my fresman year of high school and honestly being a freshie sucks :P and one of my best friends is dating the guy i like so yeah drama, bull shat not spelled wrong, and lots of h.w thaat i dont do because im lazy and dont feel like it XD ha ha take that school :V and yet somehow im still doing fairly good in school XD ah, as sierra would say "it takes a jamie to do that" lol well i think i have wasted enough of your time so yeah look forward to chapter 3 it may come sooner if i get more reviews not that i didnt appreciate the one that i got and to answer the question that person asked the reason i want to be one of the homunculi is because i have this freaky obsession for greed and envy w so yeah lol 3 envy is my palm tree kun X3 i fawking love him 3


	3. wait what!

FMA RANDOMNESS!

Chapter 3

**Chapter 2 recap! ok so i know its been a while and yeah, thats why im doing the recap lol so here it is. Well I pricked m finger, and stared at it like an idiot for like 5 minutes, I got mad at "Oh Smart One" because he kept asking questions, umm... OH AND some random pedo-bear walked in =3= XD so yeah that was my recap now on with te storeh!**

"Who is this father?" I looked at the guy who just walked in.

"HOLY SHIT MONKEYS BATMAN!" I yelled like a retard. They both just stared at me like I was crazy or something.

"This is a new homunculus." Father said as he looked at that one guy. lol

"Herpaderp, herpaderp, herpaderp, herpaderp, I beh derpin!" I lauhed to my self because of the strange looks I got. I love derpin. ( Its llike pimping but you can do it if your under 18 XD ) "Yeah... sorry... Im a bit random and i can't help it... so yeah..." Wow i dragged that out. XD

I pulled my neon orange U.T. draw string bag off my back and pulled out my Ipod, then wickedly smiled. Father and that one guy just stared at me, then I started yelling out the english lyrics to caramelle dancin and started doing the caramelle dancin dance XD

"So whats her name?" That one guy asked

"Jamie, I dont know what her homunculi name would be just yet and i doubt she would take over the position as lust." He shook his head as he watched me dance around like an idiot. 30 (mah derp face) "Say Greed, would you mind looking after her, mabye spend sometime training her, trying to see what her power is?" Greed turned to father and smirked.

"Sure DAD." He put emphasis on the dad as a defyant teen ager would.

Greed strolled over to me and tapped my shoulder when I was in the middle of dancing to the song for the 6th time. I pulled my ear buds out of my ears and turned off the Ipod then shoved it back in my bag and flung it over my shoulders on to my back.

"Yeesssssss." I said like a retard.

"Fathers so graciously put me in charge of you, so lets go hang out and get to know each other better."

"Really! Dose that mean I can has cheese burger?"

"...what..." He just stared at me blankly.

"Oh sorry I have those where I say things that only my best friend sierra would understand." ^-^; I smiled at him.

We went through a series of tunnels then up some stairs that led to an alley.

"So your names Jamie right?" He asked

"Yeppy!" :3 I said to him.

"So how old are you?" He asked me :3

"14 almost 15 er... well on July 7th so my birth days not that close." I frowned to myself. He patted my back.

"Oh don't worry you will have plenty of time to get sick of getting older without actually ageing." o.0

"Well ok then, so wait Im going to look like Im 14 forever! What the fuck!"

" Ha ha ha ha ha, wow your the first person that I've met that has a problem with that." I looked up at him.

"Well I personally think living forever would suck."

"Its not so bad when your not alone." He looked down at me and smiled. ( o.0 Wow Greed actually smiling and being sinscear about it who would have thought possible.)

The whole entire time we had been walking and talking until we reached a place with a sign above that said the devils nest. We went inside and as I looked I noticed several people who i recignised imeaditly to be Roa, Martel, Dorochet, Bido, and ( what the fuck ) Kimbley. What the hell, am I in the anime or manga? OH GAWD! NOW IM CONFUSLED! I screamed in my head... oh shit some how im in a mix of both! WHAT THE FUCK! How thw fuck dose that happen... wait he said theres no lust... dose that mean shes dead or hasen't been created yet? Well looks like I have some answers to find o.0

Well thats it for this chapter :D hope you liked et :3 i always have fun writing this story :3 and i have already wrote chapters 4,5, and 6 i just have to type them :D herpaderp :3 i like derpin XD oh and i know this chapter is short and the next 3 are the same length if not slightly shorter :L sorry but the chapters will be posted soon :D so yey! ... what else :L ... oh well until next chappy :D OH AND THANKS TO THE 7 PEOPLE ER RATHER THE PEOPLE WHO REVIEWED :D got 7 reviews but 7 different people didnt review but I GOTS 7 REVIEWS! :D

And one more thing before I leave this alone and stop adding to it is that if there are any spelling mistakes/grammar errors im sorry im not the best speller and Im using notepad because my computer dosent have ms word dont ask why but it dosent some things are spelled wrong on purpose like confusled and i actuallly say it like that so yeah some are on puropse and some aren't and i have tried to rmember to capatilise the begging of the sentences and the i's but i may have missed a few, so yeah sorry. Another update is that i have started writing a new story called perfect enemy and i still need to type ALL my other ones :L so yeah, when my computer got ... uh what ever happened to it, it had to be whiped clean so I lost all the stories that I was working on on it but i still have like 12 different ones that i started writing on paper before i got a computer so I'll just start typing those so i can get those posted.


	4. derp randomness :L

FMA Randomness

Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 3 RECAP! lol as you can tell the recaps are in my words XD so here it is! :3 no thats not it XD I found out who the pedo-bear is X3 tis beh greed XD and i didnt glomp him :L but theres still time to :D. I get a teacher/mentor l3 dont think greed is too happy about that, I got to see where the devils nest is, and got to meet Roa, Martel, Dorochet, Bido, and Kimbly. i found out that not only am i in the manga like i originally though but im somehow in a mix of both :L XD so yeah that was my recap XDDDD ** ON WITH THE STOREH!

Well it looks like i have alot of answers to find. I thought to my self.

"Who's this boss?" asked dorochet.

"This is Jamie...uh do you have a last name? Just wondering." Greed asked.

"Uh... I do but I don't go by it, I go by Jamie Anomaly."

"Interesting name." He mused.

"Thanks :3 I feel special now. I have a scene name but not a homunculi name. Ha ha ha I'm the odd one out." :3 I said like a little kid X3

"Father is trying to find the perfect name for you, but we need a little more info, and need to find out what your power is."

"Eh... makes sence, so until then I am Jamie Anomaly." I said with a big smile.

"So your a homunculus like boss man here right?" Kimbly said. God its weird seeing him because he looks like he dose in the manga not the anime, but he's here with Greed which is what dosen't make sence, oh well. Although either way he's pretty hot but intimidating.

"Yeah kimbly, shes's a new homunculi, father said he didn't create her, and he's still not compleatly sure of how and why she is here."

"Wow looks like you are special kid." Kimbley said to me.

"YEY! That makes me feel spechul." 30 Of corse everyone looks at me funny when i say things like that.

All the chimeras and kimbly went back to what they were doing before I came. Greed led me over to a couch and we both sat down.

"So, Jamie, Do you have any idea what your power would be?" I sat there tinking of all the possibilties of what it could be but came up with nothing. :L ( lol oh well XD fail on my part X3 )

"Nope, not a clue." I said with a sigh.

"Well don't worry we'll figure it out, and if we can't think of something just by sitting here, then maybe we could introduce you to envy and it could be your sparing partner." He put emphasis on the it but the way he said it made him sound like he was discusted just by mentioning him.

"Why won't you do it?" I asked although i already knew the answer. :L

"what can I say, I don't fight girls even if it is just training." He said as he looked down at me.

"Oh well...YEY! I finally get to meet palm-tree kun!" I yelled like a retard because i'm just that pimptacular.

"HA HA HA HA HA HA! Oh wow, I never thought to call it palm-tree! Wow thats a good one, and it'll hate the name! HA HA!" I laughed along with him XD it is a funny name :3 but I said it out of the kindness of my heart l3 i swear!

"Ha ha just don't tell him that i'm the one who said that ok?"

"Ok I won't tell it." He laughed one more time then smirked to him self.

"Hey, why do you keep calling envy and it?" I asked a little confused, I mean i know they dont like each other but I didn't think it was that bad lol.

"Because envy is a shape-shifting trans-gender freak." He said bluntly.

"Well ok then... say, Greed, is there a Lust or was there a Lust? Because I heard father say something about me taking the position of Lust." He got a very serious look on his face.

"There was not to long ago, but that changed after the colonel changedd that. After she paralyzed one of his subordinates from the waist down he came after her for revenge and literaly burned her to death while he pretty much told her to go to hell for what she did." He said looking a little depressed. :L (I sowwie!)

Well that answered some questions, but what else has changed? 3o

LoL so YeAH ThaT WaS CHapeR 4 Of FMa RanDOMneSs XD sorry just couldnt help typing like that XDDDDD C:

this chapter wasent so much meant to be funny :L you know in every comedy and shat there has to be some serious moments :L and honestly i just needed to put this in and the next in to move the story along :3 i promise it will get funneh again you just have to be paitent with meh l3 im only human and even i cant make every other faking line haiarious so just chill XD ...

ME:CAN I HAS YO BABEHS!

Greed:SURE! lets go :D

ME: OH WHAT THE FUCK NO! Q~Q I WAS JOKEING! GAWD!

GREED: aww man way to get a guys hopes up :L

ME: AWWWW I SOWWIE! ( huggels greed)

GREED: :3 yay!

ME: o.0 OH LAWD NO!

SIERRA: HERPADERP!

GREED: ...what?

ME: OH HAI!

SIERRA: I WANt YOUR HERPADERP IN MY DERPAHERP!

ME: I DONT ROLL LIKE THAT, well i do but i wouldnt do that with my best friend XD

GREED: THEN CAN I?

SIERRA: OH HELLZ NU!

ME: AND BESIDES I HAS A OY FWIEND! SO BACK OFF PHFFFFF!

dont you just love mindless acts of randomness XD

MEH: I DEW!  
SIERRA: NO BODEH ASKED YEW!

ME: well i felt the reason to say weather or not i do so there XD  
SIERRA: NO ONE CARES IF YEW HAS A BOY FWIEND!  
ME: DUMB DUMB I WASENT TAKING ABOuT THAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE THANGEH ABOUT MINDLESS ACTS OF RANDOMNESS! XDDDD

SIERRA: oh o.O sowwie

GREED: what the hell are you two talking about

MEH!: I DONT EVEN KNOW ANEH MOAR! D:

until next chappy! ~ JAMIE ANOMALY! 3


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